Grizzly Adams, The Professor Edition
I stumbled upon my spare back-up dad a long time ago. At first sight the guy was a little bit scary, like Grizzly Adams meets the Nutty Professor and Walt Whitman's twin, all rolled into one creature. But under all that Billy Goat Gruff stuff lurked the heart of sweet, good guy.I've known this Dad since I was 15 years old, almost 40 years. In those four life changing decades we've both grown kind of old and a bit chipped on the exterior. But inside, where it counts, I wouldn't trade one single little shrunken artery or fragile bone for what lurks in his heart. This guy loves his family truly, deeply and unconditionally even when he yells or looks at you with that snarky Grizzly Adam's face. You just know.
He isn't the kind of guy who enjoys sentiments that involve mushiness or emoting. He will run for the hills even on those gimpy skinny gams before he would let anyone wax a Hallmark sentiment at him.
When I was 15, he spent enormous amounts of time talking to the mixed up teenager I was, the one with the giant curly afro - the Jewish girl with a family history rich in guilt. He never shrank from the ferklempt instrusion my mashugina family brought to the table.
The fact that he carried a backpack and rode a bicycle to his teaching job didn't hurt either. Nor the fact that his hair was long, and his politics liberal. His inclusiveness, making me one of the kids was one of the small ways he saved my soul. Never the daughter-in-law, always just another kid.
He could talk about science and math and politics and poets, all with the ease of someone who read books and left them all around the house and not on shelves collecting dust. He wrote volumes of poetry alongside the driest of research papers.
Leaving behind volumes and volumes of beloved books when they moved to a retirement apartment across the country still makes him sad. He made sure they all went to worthy homes.
I am not sure retirement has been a friend to him. I think he would rather have stayed in the science, teaching and researching. It was always a controversial effort, but recently some researchers are bringing back his work and proving that his theories were worthy all along. I am glad he gets to see this in his lifetime, sooner rather than later.
As he turns 80 years old, early this fall, I hope that he recalls with a bit of fondness, the motley kid he adopted all those years ago and knows that I could not love him more than if he really was my dad.
There is only one thing that the Grizzly Adams would enjoy even more than books. And here it is!
Comments
Wow! A bit of Ernest Hemingway also!
It's good to have some "more mature" people in our lives to give us sage advice and wisdom. I've always treated elders with respect. It's been lost in today's "un" civilization.
Rated
It's good to have some "more mature" people in our lives to give us sage advice and wisdom. I've always treated elders with respect. It's been lost in today's "un" civilization.
Rated
Thank Blue - nah. Not Ernest - he doesn't drink enough! He is a keeper though. Happy Dad's day to you!
Nice to have a spare. (Nice to have even one.) And thanks for the pie!
I can see his kindness shining through from all the way over here.
Wow. What a brilliant man and what a stunning bibliography! It makes me want to hide mine.
Talk about rich in guilt - how about that pie? My father-in-law was just such a man as you describe. Always first and foremost was that his little girl was happy. I enjoyed reading this.
He does look like Papa Hemingway! what a lovely tribute. A back up dad sounds like a swell thing.
Lea - I do love that new avatar. You look smashing. Hope you enjoyed the pie!
M - thanks! He does tend to be kind to little dogs too.
Steve - you two would have tons in common.
Stacey - thanks! sounds like you have a great FIL too.
Silk - yep, Hemingway and Whitman. It is a swell thing and the back-up is the primary!
M - thanks! He does tend to be kind to little dogs too.
Steve - you two would have tons in common.
Stacey - thanks! sounds like you have a great FIL too.
Silk - yep, Hemingway and Whitman. It is a swell thing and the back-up is the primary!
How lucky you are to have this man in your life. Having someone in your life that you can talk to, and learn from, without all the emotional baggage of "family" is so important. You go, girl. Please post a picture of you and the afro-hair. Immediately.
How lucky you are to have this man in your life. Having someone in your life that you can talk to, and learn from, without all the emotional baggage of "family" is so important. You go, girl. Please post a picture of you and the afro-hair. Immediately.
NFJ - I would but I have not scanned the youthful (and scary) photos yet. I will get there. And believe me, they are scary. Having hair that big was probably a road hazard.
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