For check orders press 1. For general customer whining, press 2. For actual assistance with real banking issues, please hang up and wait for our bail out.
"lo. This is mumble mumble. How can I mumble you today?"
"I want to speak to a supervisor today please"
"uh uh uh uh. do you want to order checks? uh uh uh uh"
"Please. I am so not in the mood for questions, and you probably don't want to hear my answers, so please find a supervisor for me. Thank you"
"uh uh uh uh. Can I have your mumble mumble? uh uh"
"Nah. Just a supervisor. Please"
"uh uh uh hold"
bad music. crackle. music from space? silence.
4.5 minutes later.
"This is Millie. I am soooooo sorry for the delay. How may I help you today?"
Saga (see the first post). "And then I get both sets of checks today though I paid for faster shipping on one of them, and the name is wrong. You forgot The Geek. And you charged me for them. Please fix."
"Sooooo sorry for the delay."
(whaaat?!)
"I'm not calling about a delay. The checks are wrong. I can't use them, and you charged me for them when you said they are free with the type of account I have. Can you fix this for me?"
"Soooooo sorry for the delay. Please hold."
2 minutes later.
"Sooooo sorry for the delay. The account is in your name so why would you want checks with The Geek's name on them? And if you wanted faster shipping, then you had to pay for that. Only the default shipping is free. Soooo sorry for the delay."
My head just spun around three times with that one.
"Hum. Have had account for 10 years with both of us on it. Never paid for checks before, or shipping, and how can you say it was faster shipping when one order was regular shipping, the next expedited, and they both arrived on the same day, 10 days after ordering?"
"Hold pleeeezzzzuh."
5.5 minutes.
"Hellllloooo. Sooooooo sorry for the delay. Yes, The Geek is on the account. We will refund you one shipping and reorder the checks for you with both names. However. If you want faster shipping you will have to pay for it. The bank will only pay regular shipping. "
Spin spin spin.
"Whaaaat?! I already paid for faster shipping and got bogus checks, so now I have to pay again if I want them this year? And the mistake was yours?"
"Oh dear. Sooooo sorry for the delay. I am not authorized to waive that fee for you. And you ordered online so who knows how the mistake was made?"
"Seriously? I clicked reorder checks on the bank's website. It asks if you want them the same. I click yes. And the website belongs to Bank of Idiots, right? And who can authorize the waived fee?"
"Ooooooo. So. Sorry. for. the. um, delay. You would have to go into a branch and talk to a manager there. I can only send them out slow shipping and the bank will cover that."
"So, for a difference of $1.35 I should drive my car to a branch, wait to talk to a manager and hope they waive the fee that now would net me a negative result since I spent $4 in gas to get there?"
"The delay. I am sorry for. Sooooooooo. Checks will come someday. Do not press 1. I am super supervisor. My name is robo 3425. Thank you for banking at bank of idiots. We hope you are to be served again someday. Please hang up now. Please hang up now. I hang up now." click.
Once my head stopped spinning I thought maybe I should just move our accounts to the newest and probably the safest bank in town. The mattress.
"lo. This is mumble mumble. How can I mumble you today?"
"I want to speak to a supervisor today please"
"uh uh uh uh. do you want to order checks? uh uh uh uh"
"Please. I am so not in the mood for questions, and you probably don't want to hear my answers, so please find a supervisor for me. Thank you"
"uh uh uh uh. Can I have your mumble mumble? uh uh"
"Nah. Just a supervisor. Please"
"uh uh uh hold"
bad music. crackle. music from space? silence.
4.5 minutes later.
"This is Millie. I am soooooo sorry for the delay. How may I help you today?"
Saga (see the first post). "And then I get both sets of checks today though I paid for faster shipping on one of them, and the name is wrong. You forgot The Geek. And you charged me for them. Please fix."
"Sooooo sorry for the delay."
(whaaat?!)
"I'm not calling about a delay. The checks are wrong. I can't use them, and you charged me for them when you said they are free with the type of account I have. Can you fix this for me?"
"Soooooo sorry for the delay. Please hold."
2 minutes later.
"Sooooo sorry for the delay. The account is in your name so why would you want checks with The Geek's name on them? And if you wanted faster shipping, then you had to pay for that. Only the default shipping is free. Soooo sorry for the delay."
My head just spun around three times with that one.
"Hum. Have had account for 10 years with both of us on it. Never paid for checks before, or shipping, and how can you say it was faster shipping when one order was regular shipping, the next expedited, and they both arrived on the same day, 10 days after ordering?"
"Hold pleeeezzzzuh."
5.5 minutes.
"Hellllloooo. Sooooooo sorry for the delay. Yes, The Geek is on the account. We will refund you one shipping and reorder the checks for you with both names. However. If you want faster shipping you will have to pay for it. The bank will only pay regular shipping. "
Spin spin spin.
"Whaaaat?! I already paid for faster shipping and got bogus checks, so now I have to pay again if I want them this year? And the mistake was yours?"
"Oh dear. Sooooo sorry for the delay. I am not authorized to waive that fee for you. And you ordered online so who knows how the mistake was made?"
"Seriously? I clicked reorder checks on the bank's website. It asks if you want them the same. I click yes. And the website belongs to Bank of Idiots, right? And who can authorize the waived fee?"
"Ooooooo. So. Sorry. for. the. um, delay. You would have to go into a branch and talk to a manager there. I can only send them out slow shipping and the bank will cover that."
"So, for a difference of $1.35 I should drive my car to a branch, wait to talk to a manager and hope they waive the fee that now would net me a negative result since I spent $4 in gas to get there?"
"The delay. I am sorry for. Sooooooooo. Checks will come someday. Do not press 1. I am super supervisor. My name is robo 3425. Thank you for banking at bank of idiots. We hope you are to be served again someday. Please hang up now. Please hang up now. I hang up now." click.
Once my head stopped spinning I thought maybe I should just move our accounts to the newest and probably the safest bank in town. The mattress.
Comments
funny stuff - but I'm sure while you're living it it is irritating stuff!
now i'm dying to know what bank (fingers crossed it ain't mine!)
now i'm dying to know what bank (fingers crossed it ain't mine!)
And this is just the part you experience----imagine what happens when they close the doors!
I wonder if all we really bailed out was phone banks in India or the Phillipines, with perhaps a few bucks left over for a jet and an office remodel or 2?
Funny---but maybe not at the time, huh?
Oh boy. I had a similar issue with Citi recently. I always pay my CC balance in full, ridiculously early because as you know I am an obscenely frugal kiddo. For some reason Citi lost my payment between my clicking submit on their online system and actually debiting it from my checking account. Then, they tried to charge me a late fee when I found the error and contacted them. Several robosupport agents, demands for a supervisor etc. were required to fix it.
I am guessing that the banking industry needs more than money to even begin to address its woes.
I feel worse for people trying to work out mortgage or other loan stuff. How is it going to happen, if a simple check order goes awry this easily? Yikes.
I feel worse for people trying to work out mortgage or other loan stuff. How is it going to happen, if a simple check order goes awry this easily? Yikes.
No comments:
Post a Comment