The Mad Hatter quotes from the General Hospital Journal of Psychiatry while Alice wishes she could take her migraine meds with something stronger than tea!*
"Migraine headaches can precede the onset of mental disorders, according to a growing body of knowledge that includes a new study in the January-February 2009 issue of General Hospital Psychiatry. Participants had a variety of disorders: major depression, general anxiety disorder, dysthymia, bipolar disorder, panic attacks, panic disorder, substance abuse disorders, agoraphobia and simple phobia." And here I thought General Hospital was in a city called Port Charles, airing weekdays on ABC with repeats on the Soap Opera Channel. But apparently it is a genuine journal about psychiatry. And guess what? Reading crazy journals about growing bodies of knowledge relating migraines and mental disorders can give you a migraine.
With the aura of the zig zaggy light show dancing in front of my eyes while I was absorbing this great body of knowledge from the latest issue , an article that made me pause while I was hyperventilating (panicking) over the fact that I could not locate my migraine pills which were actually on the desk where I last left them, I only got to read every other word because of my peculiar brand of migraine. Black holes I call them. My eyesight gets spotty blindspots. In my panic, I look everywhere else, using my special version of migraine vision which would be a head tilt combined with a neck swivel or two and even spinning my head in a circle, which really only makes matters worse. Why do they make the package so little and so hard to open?
In any case, after my panic attack was over and my heart rate was back to normal and I found myself outside buying every one in the neighborhood a Dixie Cup from the ice cream man and inviting them over for pizza and beer, I fell into the depths of dispair over the fact that I am only able to eat gluten free pizza, which no pizzeria will make. So when everyone began arriving for the giant pizza party, I didn't asnwer the door and hid upstairs under the covers with the lights out until they all left.
Believe me, they are used to it. I do this about once a month, shortly after I have the migraine. I am convinced now that the General Hospital group has been watching me (add some paranoia to the mix) all along. And here I thought the TV was only a one way communication device. Was I ever wrong!
It's that damn new Comcast service. I can get the internet on the television, so it must have a hidden web-cam watching me. I am never watching General Hospital again and I don't care what happens to poor little Michael and his coma, or Sonny and his Cruella bride, or Emily's doppleganger bad ass long lost twin, separated at birth by an evil stepmother who really was her grandfather. Not anymore. Not if they are taking notes on me! Good grief! Can they see me blogging in my pajamas, eating potato chips and M&Ms while I watch them watching me?!
Thankfully, I have found that tin foil works to thwart Comcast cable HD and TIVO webcam transmissions. It is a scientific fact that if you have migraines, tin foil wrapped around your TV cable box soothes the pain by shortening the cable card in the TIVO. It isn't permanent if you remove the tin foil before your spouse arrives home.
Listen up General Hospital Psychiatry Journal people! Migrianes may lead to strange behavior? Have you met
*Illustration to the fifth chapter of Alice in Wonderland by John Tenniel. Wood-engraving by Thomas Dalziel
Comments
I hope you meant this to be funny. That way, I won't have to feel guilty for laughing!
indeed! although I do get migraines and act strange, but funny, yes!
laughter is good.
laughter is good.
um......do we need to send the white coats? :)
Very funny.
I think General Hospital is older than me---or at least as old as me---and that's saying something.
Good luck with those migraines.
I think General Hospital is older than me---or at least as old as me---and that's saying something.
Good luck with those migraines.
thanks for this, lulu.
btw - the other day a woman walked past our house with two boston terriers and i said to myself, can it be?? they were cute - one kept standing on her two hind feet and staring. i think it is time to post a couple pics of them again, no?
btw - the other day a woman walked past our house with two boston terriers and i said to myself, can it be?? they were cute - one kept standing on her two hind feet and staring. i think it is time to post a couple pics of them again, no?
M - GH is really old. way older than us! thanks, the migraines are a pain, but I am used to them. I just thought the journal was 1) a funny name, and 2) 11% is a small number to make such a big deal out of that connection, absurd.
Jane - I am here to please. Check the new posts soon. And thanks!
Jane - I am here to please. Check the new posts soon. And thanks!
this was funny, and thanks. My daughter has migraines, helps to keep your sense of humor.
Migraines stink. I had a few that got so bad that I had uncontrollable vomiting. The hospital shot me up with morphine, some stuff to shrink my veins and some stuff to calm my stomach. It's a horror. If I catch 'em with Advil when the spots start, it'll be okay. But if I let 'em get ripping, then it's terrible. I quit all the dumb drugs they were giving me for this mental stuff. It's annoying.
Hope your migraines get better.
Hope your migraines get better.
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