Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Open Salon, April 2009, Humor and Snark

APRIL 16, 2009 12:20PM

I Am Case Sensitive

Rate: 6
I cannot tell you the number of times I have failed the registration test on some website by getting accused of being a robot rather than an errant human being who reads directions carelessly.
Case sensitive just does not seem to enter my consciousness like say, two cupcakes for a dollar.   I continually type out the unpronounceable garble of letters and numbers into the space provided and 9 times out of 10, the big techy red marker will come back flashing at me, accusing me of perhaps being a robot.
At that point I begin to sweat, just a little.  Nervously, I pay close attention to the nonsensical non-word and type in the letters slowly - akin to speaking slower and louder in the wrong language when you are in a foreign country.   I know I am doing it, but am helpless to stop.
Again with the red marker, only this time it is surely ready to blow up my connection which is hanging on by a thread anyway because my ISP provider is always "upgrading" which is a euphemism for the fiber getting cut by some stupid work person.   If I am very very lucky, I get it right and have safe passage to the inner sanctum of some website, free to move about and spend my money after being humiliated by not being able to copy simple 1st grade printed letters.
Did I say printed?  What I meant was printed, swimming, dancing, or goobered lettering.   I am not a freaking wizard.  I cannot decipher letters that look like rorschach blots.  Nor can I decipher letters that are dressed in do-dads like flowers or sprinkles, or disguised as calligraphy done by a space alien.  
Nor can I, apparently, follow directions that indicate such letters are case sensitive.   Some are.  Some are not.  Some say so.  Others only say so after you screw up.   And some start pulsating the screen with that red marker accusing you of  being a robot, when they know full well you are merely a person of a certain age, not quite savvy enough to decipher squiggle.
I understand case sensitivity.  After all, I myself am case sensitive.   A part of me is tall, another part of me is a little not tall, kind of wide.  And some parts of me are squiggled and others are just not explainable no matter what.  
After all, when my memory card was inserted it was version 3.4.101.0    I hear that the 3.4.101.1  are much better at deciphering human nuances than my group.   Pretty soon, you'll find us on E-bay, I suspect.   But let me just say in advance, I don't do windows.

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I sometimes have to click on the audio version ... LOL ~

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